nat's brella stinks!

um, nat has an umbrella. it smells like b.o. i would gag if i were to smell it. i wonder how it got to the point of b.o. smelling? is it because nat may have b.o.? me thinks that's why her brella stinks....nat has b.o.

so much work - so lil' time

so, between my busy schedule - i managed to find time to whoop it up on my b-day... sadly, i don't remember a whole lot...or wait, that might be a good thing... all i know is - i was able to get kicked out of the WHEAT SHEAF - which i thought was impossible to do...then we made our way to VELVET UNDERGROUND, where, once again - got managed to get kicked out of there - THANKS DAWN!! fer gawd sakes... ended up at the HORSESHOE - where i was welcomed with open arms by a gaggle of drunk indians - wait, can i say indians? anyhoo... what a night! enjoy the pics!!! i have begun a new show. a feature. called 'YOUNG PEOPLE FUCKING' - yup, just like the title says - that's all it's about. more to come on this new project soon.

so bussssssssy.....me working

yeah, i'm very BUSY working on a feature.... so a HUGE SORRY to all the people i have been neglecting over the past month. BIG HUGS AND KISSES! i miss all of you and i will FER SURE see you all very soon! hopefully at my b-day...well, the saturday following. the 21st, oct - WHEAT SHEAF! 7pm LEAF GAME! GETTIN' LOADY PANTS AND SAYING THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T! BE THERE TO WATCH THE LEAFS LOOSE YET AGAIN! yeehaw!
...be a part of history, come to MY 32nd & DAWN'S 28th b-day bash...!
we'll see you there -
uh, that's if we're not already drunk before we/you get there!

c'mon people....

....for f' sakes!....
really people, c'mon... people waste their money on the most stooooopid things! WHY?! why on earth would you need one of these? this invention should be up there with the 'banana hammock' (you know, the hammock to hold the bananas on your counter) - not the banana hammock we're all use to seeing old hairy guys on the beaches of europe wearing...although, that invention, however gross to the eyes - is hilarious! anyway, back to my rant - c'mon!

um, what we've learned from craigslist

From the Wanted Section:
Holy crap a lot of people want expensive stuff for free. I’d think $10-$20 items would be the most people would muster the gall to ask for. But no, some people go all the way to “a reliable economical car or truck”.

From the Free Section:
Apparently there are a lot of people who either don’t have access to a pickup, or know where the dump is.

From Barter:
Quite often even more unrealistic than the people who want a free car.

From w4m:
The minimum accepted male height for online dating is 5’9”.

Women think that if they say they don’t like liars, or guys who play games, or married guys, that this will deter those types from replying. It’s like my friends who believe you can’t be busted by an undercover cop if you have first asked them if he or she is a cop.

From r&r:
The word ‘loser’ is much more difficult to spell than you’d think.

An effective rebuttal to any argument is to avoid the content of the argument and attack what you assume to be the character of the poster. Most often the attack word is ‘libtard’.

Another effective rebuttal is also to ignore the content of the argument and post a series of pictures that you think are clever and contain the letters STFU.

A third effective rebuttal is once again to ignore content, yet this time, pick apart the spelling, often using incorrect grammar and/or spelling.

From mc:
There are more chickens in the world then I previously thought. Seriously, if you know where the person works or lives, go freakin’ ask them out. They will never see your post. But that’s really what you are hoping aren’t you? At least with your mc you can delude yourself into thinking you tried.

...this guy is awesome...

This will never get old!

need a date? i have the man for you!!

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

...rockin' long weekend...

every year, JOANNE & TRAVIS have a rockin' party at their farm... this year - ROCKED! lot's o' guests, great music... fun fun fun...
good times!! no sleep!! YARRRRRRR!!
can't wait until next year!!!

Dave Chappelle Rules!!!

dave chappelle rules!! he makes me laugh - comic genius!!
this is my favorite sketch... enjoy!!

Kevin Smith & Zack Braff 'Artist on Artist'

...just wonderin' - who the HELL is 'THEY'?...

so here is something i wonder...why do people always want to give you advice by saying....'you know what THEY say.'........who the f*$@ is 'THEY'? who gets to be in this group who hands out information like that you shouldn't swim for 30 minutes after you eat. i feel like saying...'listen 'THEY', don't tell me how to live my life.' wait, how does one get to be a part of this 'THEY'? do you have to try out? is it a special club? do I have to apply? can I get a student loan for this? or maybe i too can just start my own fascist regime of sorts where I can just start handing out random information under the guise of 'THEY'. yeah - that's it!!! like, 'you know what 'THEY' say, you should give me a dollar everytime i give you advice' or 'you know what 'THEY' say, honking too much can mess up your car' 'you know what 'THEY' say, picking your nose can give you nose herpes'...really, anything - no matter how random could be used.

ELVISFEST!!!! 2006

12th Annual ELVISFEST! - Collingwood Ontario, 2006

...the beginning...

many thanks to the guys who we met - (Eddie, Johnny, Alberto, guy in red shirt - who's name I never could remember, another guy named John & Paul) literally 10mins after we walked in the door who bought us drinks/shots all night (and aided in the awesome night of debauchery that followed last call) along with all the money I won in the hands of poker and blackjack at their place! god bless drunken poker!

...a bit later that night...


sweet dreams tiny dancer.... sweet dreams...

...the next day...




there was a great band Saturday night. FREDDY VETTE. alot of fun - lot's of 'blue hairs' gettin' down and dirty with nostalgia of the 50's & 60's....
pure hilarity!

...the last day...




































(above, ALICE COOPER ELVIS! hee hee)
**Jul 26 to 30
ELVIS may have left the building, but he has been spotted in the hearts of many folk in Collingwood each summer...the competition includes both professional and non-professional tribute artists. street parties, parades and pancake breakfasts are just some of the events that ran during the weekend festival...
everone was great - but my fave's...
THANE DUNN & LANCE DOBINSON!!
(both of them VERY TALENTED & quite YUMMY!)
Thane - Blue Jumper & Lance - White Jacket/Eyes closed ha-ha

human beatbox - cool

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=926056225&n=2

Click the arrow beside HUMAN BEATBOX! Or cut and paste link above! Enjoy!!!

comment jerks!

okay - you know those jerks who keep leaving LAME-ASS comments on yer blog?! i got's me one of those... i know who she is and her name is GNATTY LOPEZ... or 'G' as some call her lame-ass burns'y body...
that's her... to the right... big pucker'y lips -
nice NAT, nice... attractive.
you'll get yer's... you know - some of us have lives and can't be blogging every 2 seconds you know. geesh. GWIFF - huhhhhh... that did make me laugh - my nipple pinchers haven't been out in a while. maybe next time yer down - we'll break em' open! eh, G? '...cause - her name was natty, gnatty lopez... she works at a place called the zanzee...she was a showgirl.. and naked oooooooone....'

long 'hiccup' weekends!

...okay - lost my sunglasses, lost my keys.... lost the cat...and lost my virginity - no no...just kidding - i didn't loose my keys... HA HA, kidding - didn't loose my virginity - but i bet someone did that weekend...
you've gotta love long weekends. 3 days full of debauchery, snorting whatever can fit up yer nose and bringing it out on yer tounge to gross people out (fyi, vodka jello shooters sting!)and stoopid drunkin' philosophizing. hummmmmm....
so, okay - about 2 hours after this swim i passed out and burned my face.... below you will see - i'm 'leaning' into MARC cause' i can't stand on my own... truly, one of my finest moments!
burned beyond belief... i believe my nickname all night was ZORRO - on account i passed out in the sun with my sunglasses on and got one wicked ass burn... so the next day - i made sure to pass out in the sun with a tea towel over my forhead and another like a bandito mask... so that way, i was able to burn the not so burned part of my face... now - no more ZORRO


my puppers - lily... my pumpkin... (below)