Thursday, September 16, 2010

So, Joaquin IS still here...and SANE!



So, Casey Affleck wants to come clean....

His new movie, 'I’m Still Here,' was performance. Almost every bit of it. Including Joaquin Phoenix’s disturbing appearance on David Letterman’s late-night show in 2009, Affleck said in a candid interview at a cafe here Thursday morning.

'It’s a terrific performance; it’s the performance of his career,' Affleck said.

He was speaking of Phoenix’s two-year portrayal of himself – on screen and off – as a bearded, drug-addled aspiring rap star, who, as Affleck tells it, put his professional life on the line to star in a bit of 'gonzo filmmaking' modeled on the reality-bending journalism of Hunter S. Thompson.

'I’m Still Here' was released last week by Magnolia Pictures to scathing reviews by a number of critics, including Roger Ebert, who wrote that the film was 'a sad and painful documentary that serves little useful purpose other than to pound another nail into the coffin.'

'The reviews were so angry,' said Affleck, who attributed much of the hostility to his own long silence about a film that left more than a few viewers wondering what was real – The drugs? The hookers? The childhood home-movie sequences in the beginning? – and what was not.

Virtually none of it was real. Not even the opening shots, supposedly of Phoenix and his siblings swimming in a water hole in Panama. That, Affleck said, was actually shot in Hawaii with actors, then run back and forth on top of an old videocassette recording of “Paris, Texas” to degrade the images.

'I never intended to trick anybody,' said Affleck, an intense 35-year-old who spoke over a meat-free, cheese-free vegetable sandwich. “The idea of a quote, hoax, unquote, never entered my mind.”

Still, he acknowledged that Letterman was not in on the joke when Phoenix, on Feb. 11, 2009, seemed to implode his own career by showing up in character as a mumbling, aimless star gone wrong.

That was just three years after he had received an Oscar nomination for his spot-on performance as Johnny Cash in “Walk the Line,” and memories of the film were fresh enough to induce shock in the millions who watched him on the show and in later Internet replays.

Letterman summed up the interview: 'Joaquin, I’m sorry you couldn’t be here tonight.'

Asked whether Phoenix would be in character for his return to Letterman’s program Wednesday, Affleck said, 'No, no, no.' And Letterman has not talked with Phoenix about the coming appearance, he added. Most mockumentaries, in the way of 'This Is Spinal Tap,' wear their foolishness on their sleeves, leaving no doubt about their character as fiction. But Affleck, who is married to Phoenix’s sister and has been his friend for almost 20 years, said he wanted audiences to experience the film’s narrative, about the disintegration of celebrity, without the clutter of preconceived notions.

So he said little in interviews.

'We wanted to create a space,' he said. 'You believe what’s happening is real.'

As the film progresses, Affleck explained, subtle cues were supposed to provide hints of his real intention. Camera techniques, extremely raw at the beginning, become more sophisticated as the film goes on, for instance.

'There were multiple takes; these are performances,' Affleck said of unsettling sequences in which Phoenix appears to snort drugs, consort with hookers and hunt to the ground an assistant who has betrayed him to the media – again, mostly actors.

But the movie never quite showed its hand.

'There was no wink,' Affleck said.

One of the trickier elements was to win the cooperation of Phoenix’s agent, Patrick Whitesell, of William Morris Endeavor Entertainment. On telling Whitesell that he planned to make everybody believe that a prized client 'has lost his mind and make him as unattractive as possible, you would think he would have me killed immediately,' Affleck said.

But Whitesell, instead, took a part in the film.

Phoenix’s unconventional background may have helped convince some that the film was true. Now 35, he was one of five children in a free-spirited family that bounced from life in a religious cult through a time when the siblings worked as street performers. Phoenix’s brother River, also an actor, died of a drug overdose in 1993. His sister Summer eventually married Affleck.

In the film Phoenix is often called 'J.P.,' both an attempt at a rap stage name and the inevitable shorthand of a star’s inner world. At one point in the film Phoenix howls at his crew in exasperation: “J.P. is all of us.”

As Affleck now makes clear, he is actually none of us – which is something of a relief.

But Phoenix may now have his work cut out for him when it comes to repairing an image that was marred by what Affleck portrays as his best performance. The Los Angeles Times reported this week that Phoenix, who makes much of abandoning his screen career in the film, is fielding offers for new roles.

Affleck, for his part, will return to acting for a while, probably in a film for Andrew Dominik, who directed 'The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,' for which Affleck received an Oscar nomination.

At least one element in the film was genuine, Affleck said. That was a snippet of a home movie that showed Phoenix and his very young siblings performing, Jackson Five style, on the streets of Los Angeles.

The rest, Affleck said, clearly requires a bit more understanding than he has allowed the viewers to date.

“It is a hard movie to watch,” he said.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

G20 protests n' beatings...



June 26, 2010, Toronto, Ontario-After a large march and rally against the meeting of the G20, police attacked a crowd of peaceful protesters in Queens Park. The following clip shows police attacking and arresting protesters. At 1:02, video journalist Brandon Jourdan is thrown to the ground and beaten by police while shooting video.

Monday, June 21, 2010

wait, who the hell is THEY?

So here is something I wonder... Why do people always want to give you advice by saying....'you know what THEY say.'........ Who the f*ck is 'THEY'? Who gets to be in this group who hands out information like, 'you shouldn't swim for 30 minutes after you eat...' I feel like saying...'listen 'THEY', don't tell me how to live my life.' Wait, how does one get to be a part of this 'THEY'? Do you have to try out? Is it a special club? Do I have to apply? Can I get a student loan for this? Or maybe I too can just start my own fascist regime of sorts where I can just start handing out random information under the guise of 'THEY'. Yeah - that's it!!! Like, 'you know what 'THEY' say, you should give me a dollar every time I give you advice' or 'you know what 'THEY' say, honking too much can mess up your car' 'you know what 'THEY' say, picking your nose can give you nose herpes'...really, anything - no matter how random, could be used.

Friday, June 04, 2010

Why Are You Single?

Why are you single? The Dreaded Question! This is the question that not only single people ask themselves, but usually their friends who are in relationships will inject politely into a conversation (and its always annoying). Generally the answer is as simple as it is complex. And wow isn’t that a stupid answer?

I’ll elaborate, my situation for instance I am a stand up comedian and that means I’m on the road for at least half the year. This can be is easily relatable to people who work long hours or who also go out of town for business. These schedules are more common in today’s world and require a special kind of partner, one who feels that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And also in my situation it’s important to me that this special kind of lady has a nice booty.

So in this case we have two hurdles, the fact I have a less then desirable personal availability combined with the fact that I’m picky when it comes to booty. Just sheer statistics I’m cutting out many possible candidates.

Lets say you have no problems meeting people, but you have problems expanding a relationship past that. Maybe you are committing some of these major dating mistakes.

Major dating mistakes AKA Date Killers:

1. You are smelly: Maybe you have bad breath or Body odor problems or even overpowering cologne. And now you must realize that scent is the closest sense tied to memory. Its some Mammalian reflex linked into our survival instincts; it just means that if you stink people can’t live with you. It can be hard to realize you stink, especially if you have bad breath. If there is any doubt gargle with mouth wash and Febreeze your armpits.


2. You are too opinionated: Everybody should have an opinion, but not everyone should express it. Remember very few people like a know it all but everyone loves a good listener. Score big points for calling back to points your date mentioned earlier on in the conversation (don’t take it overboard)Too Much Opinion.


3. You have too much baggage: We all have our demons in the closet and we all have regrets. But follow what are Grandparents use to do, take most of your secrets to the grave and die with a full closet. I’m just saying wait until you’re a few dates in before you mentions how your last partner cheated on you, and how you still share a dog together. How many cats do you have?


4. You are cheap: Guess why Scrooge was alone? Because he didn’t share the wealth, don’t wait for the ghost of Christmas past to come a knocking. If you are broke find ways around having to spend money, its called being romantic. It was invented by guys who had no money. Take your date for a walk in the park and have a picnic or even better make them a collage out of old magazine clippings and seashells (I’m kidding crafts are creepy).

5. You are too picky: Sometimes you have to realize that you’re not Brad Pitt. You’ll have to find beauty in places that you’re not accustomed. Try focusing on the positive; like she’s 300lbs but wow those are skinny wrists. An emotional connection is harder to find than a physical one, so remember that when it comes time to decide on the next date.

6. You are boring: Pick it up a bit; if you spend all of your time starring at the TV then what you need is an exciting hobby. Take up skydiving or scuba diving, anything with the word diving in the title should do the trick (muff diving?).

You are putting me to sleep!

7. You are constantly correcting people: (see you are too opinionated). There is no need to express your superiority of the English language or your expansive knowledge of table etiquette. That’s what marriage is for, that’s when its time to try and change someone. But for the dating stages of the relationship just make a note and deal with it later.

8. You bring your own cheese: I know they always charge you extra for the cheese, and it is usually some processed product that sucks. But it’s embarrassing carrying around an assortment of cheeses, especially for that initial dating period; leave that small fanny pack filled with deliciousness at home.

Fanny pack! oh my. In Europe they call it a bum bag... weirdos.

Thanks goes to - www.JamesTheComic.com
-A blog with thousands of surprises.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Redwings deal with early-exit pain...


The feeling by many in hockey circles over the past few days was that if anybody could overcome a 3-0 deficit in a best-of-seven series, the Red Wings were that team.

They took one small step on Thursday night with a 7-1 demolition of the San Jose Sharks at Joe Louis Arena. On Saturday, in one of the more hostile atmospheres in the league, the Red Wings weathered an early storm as they were outshot 15-6 in the opening period -- and when Brian Rafalski gave Detroit a 1-0 lead just 2:40 into the second period, the feeling really began to gain steam. This awfully loud building became awfully quiet in a hurry.

But it wasn't meant to be.

In the end, the Red Wings were denied a fourth straight trip to the Western Conference finals after losing 2-1 to the San Jose Sharks in Game 5 at HP Pavilion. All four of Detroit's losses in the Western semifinals were by one goal. Sure, the Wings lost in five games, but it certainly didn't have that feel to it.

"It's tough when you fall short of your goal," Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom said. "We felt that we were in the series even when we were down 3-0. Going into the third period, we felt confident and had a chance to win the game. We just couldn't get it done."

It's somewhat stunning, considering this is a franchise that in recent years has always found a way to get it done. In the previous two years, the Red Wings' offseason was shorter than basically everyone else.

"We understand how hard it is to win every year," coach Mike Babcock said. "There's no question that year after year after year, we've played a ton of playoff games. That catches up. Our guys will have more time to work-out this summer than they've had in a long time. I think that will really help our high-end guys. Right now, it's a bitter pill to swallow. No one likes losing."

Detroit certainly doesn't, as evidenced by a remarkable push after the Olympic break just to get into playoff position in an extremely-tight Western Conference. But not only did the Red Wings reach the postseason for a 19th consecutive season, their second-half surge allowed them to finish as the No. 5 seed.

It's truly remarkable when you consider all they had to overcome, which included injuries to several key players, including Johan Franzen, who was limited to only 27 regular-season games due to a torn ACL, and Niklas Kronwall, who appeared in less than 50 contests.

"It's been a different season," forward Henrik Zetterberg said. "If you look back at the last three years, we have a different outcome. From the start this year, we had a lot of injuries and a lot of new faces on the team. But we found a way to get into the postseason. I think a lot of people doubted that we were going to make it, but we did. We gave it a good run, but it wasn't good enough."

"It wasn't good enough" are four words you rarely hear in this dressing room. Still, the Red Wings battled throughout the 2009-10 season and found a way to get past the first round despite having to win a seventh game in Phoenix -- a match they won by five goals. But in four of the five games played in Round 2, the Sharks -- the top seed on this side of the tournament -- were a goal better.

"It's been a different season … the injuries that we had to key players and being out of the playoffs for most of the year," Lidstrom said. "We battled through and finally got some guys back and got ourselves in the fifth spot in the playoffs. I thought we did play well in the first round. We battled hard and took Phoenix to seven games and beat them. It's disappointing when you fall short and it's only one-goal games that we lost."

Perhaps the longer break this summer will benefit the Red Wings, who need to retool considering several of their key players -- Lidstrom and Tomas Holmstrom included -- enter unrestricted free agency. Certainly, if Lidstrom decides against retirement, he'll be back.

If that's the case, he would be joined by several younger players -- Jimmy Howard and Justin Abdelkader immediately come to mind -- who took some major strides in 2009-10.

"We've had some huge growth from some young players," Babcock said. "Obviously, we had an unbelievable push just to get in the playoffs. You've got to give our guys credit. We'll be back trying to battle."

The fact that they're already discussing it shows the commitment of this unbelievably-proud organization.

"We refocus and get ready for next year," Zetterberg said. "We've got to come back stronger."

GO WINGS GO....STANLEY COMES HOME 2011/2012!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

REDWING PRAYER...not that they need it... :p

HOCKEY PRAYER: Our Father, who art in Detroit, hockey be thy name. Thy will be done, the cup will be won, on ice, as well as in the stands. Give us this day, our hockey sticks, and forgive us our penalties as we forgive those who cross-check against us. Lead us not into elimination, but deliver us to victory. In the name of the fans, Lord Stanley, and in the name of the REDWINGS, Amen!
GO WINGS GO!!

CONGRATS on GAME 4...! Series tied 2-2

...Red Wings refocus for Game 4...



DETROIT – The Red Wings know their defense must improve in order to win Game 4 of the Western Conference quarterfinals and avoid a 3-1 deficit to the Phoenix Coyotes in their best-of-seven series.

Detroit was never able to pull ahead in Game 3, always either tied or trailing. That led them to make some offensive gambles they wouldn’t normally make to try gaining the lead, in both the game and the series.

Because of that, Wings captain Nicklas Lidstrom said Detroit’s defensemen let goaltender Jimmy Howard out to dry in Sunday’s 4-2 loss to the Phoenix Coyotes.

“They had some three-on-twos late in the game, where we’re gambling a little bit, trying to create some chances offensively,” Lidstrom said. “And by doing that, we’re losing our third guy high and they have three-on-twos or even two-on-ones against us. We kind of let (Howard) out to dry on a couple of chances like that.”

Howard allowed four goals on 29 shots, and he said he would liked to have “three of them back.” Of those three, it was the fourth goal scored by Radim Vrbrata on a rush with Matthew Lombardi that stood out for Howard.

“I just couldn't reach for it,” he said. “Just an untimely goal. In the playoffs, those kill you.”

The Wings know they have to limit the odd-man rushes that Phoenix had on Sunday. They also know that they must do an all-around better job of taking care of business in their own end.

But Lidstrom pointed out that overall, it was a combination of the Wings’ defensive play and the intense effort the Coyotes put forth.

“You want to do a better job helping (Howard) out, clearing players out of there or getting the rebounds out of there,” Lidstrom said.

“But it looked like they were shooting the puck a lot more, going to the net a lot harder than they did in Game 2.”

Wings coach Mike Babcock said he didn’t consider replacing Howard, a likely finalist for the Calder Trophy as the NHL’s top rookie, with veteran netminder Chris Osgood.

“Never thought about it all,” Babcock said.

The Wings came to play in the first period, but it was the second period that was the turning point of the game. Once the Coyotes gained the lead for good halfway through the third period, they were able to contain all the offensive pressure the Wings could muster.

“They kind of set the tone in the second period. We didn’t respond well,” Lidstrom said.

“In the third period, they were backing off a lot more, not really forechecking hard, but having five guys in the neutral zone slowing us down.”

Despite Sunday’s loss, the Wings have put the game behind him and are ready to come out Tuesday with a better effort. A Game 4 win would even the series at two, and Detroit will be playing in front of their home crowd at Joe Louis Arena.

“We just got to refocus and get ready for Game 4, and approach it like we did in Game 2,” said defenseman Brian Rafalski.

Rafalski, who makes up the top defensive pairing with Lidstrom, briefly left Sunday’s game with lower back pain. He returned to play 23-minutes, but sat out Monday’s practice.

“Raffi had a maintenance day, and we expect him to be fine,” Babcock said.


All's I can say is... 'GO WINGS GO - LET'S GIT ER' DONE BOYS!!'

Saturday, February 06, 2010

...How to speak Canadian eh...

Very soon, Vancouver will welcome the world to the 2010 Olympic Games, and many visitors will be surprised to hear a foreign language. Here’s what you need to know about speaking “Canadian.”

Like the country itself, Canadian English suffers from a bit of an identity crisis: Do we speak the tongue of our British heritage? Or do we employ the vernacular of our closest geographical and cultural neighbour, the United States?

And in quintessentially Canadian fashion, we’ve come up with an offend-no-one resolution: a little deference, a little defiance. Canadian English is the bastard child of a queen and a cowboy.

We honour the monarchy by minding our p’s and q’s, and in using u’s in words like “labour” and “flavour.” In Canada, you enter the “centre” and catch a feature at the “theatre.”

The last letter of the alphabet retains its British pronunciation yet appears American in words like “organize” and “realize” – but we draw the line at calling the bearded Texas rock band “ZedZed Top,” and for that we will not apologize.

We will, however, apologize for any number of other transgressions, real or perceived. We are, as our international reputation holds, a polite lot. You won’t visit many countries where the word “sorry” is interchangeable with “excuse me”: It can mean “Would you kindly step aside to allow me to get to my destination?” or “Thank you for allowing me by to get to my destination” and also “Oh, my, it appears I’ve just walked past you on my way to my destination.”

Our currency is as colourful in name as it is in appearance. The “loonie” is a gold-tone $1 coin depicting that Canadian cottage-country icon, the loon. The $2 coin is bi-metallic (gold- and silver-tone) and is called a “toonie.”

These will come in handy when you go to buy a “two-four.” Having nothing to do with Jack Bauer, this is the largest denomination of bottles you can get in a case of beer. And in most of Canada they are sold by the government. In Ontario, where I live, no one wanted to waste precious happy-hour time ($2 drafts!) coming up with some fancy name, so they just called it The Beer Store. There are 450 of them in the province; there are about 400 Starbucks in the whole country. We have our priorities straight.

You’ve surely heard of Canadians’ love affair with beer? We’ve even unofficially named a holiday after it: Queen Victoria’s birthday, which is May 24th, is known as the “May Two-Four” long weekend. Many two-fours are consumed.

That white stuff on the ground? That’s called “snow.” And we only have one word for it. But you will most certainly hear about the “wind-chill,” a formula employed by weather forecasters to distinguish between amputation-is-imminent cold or simply freeze-your-arse-off cold. This is also a good way to know whether or not you’ll need to wear your “toque” (knitted hat worn in winter by many, worn all year round if you’re an emo kid).

Our (unofficial) national sport is not called “ice hockey,” just plain old “hockey” – ice is the default. Variations include ball hockey, road hockey, field hockey, air hockey and the two months of the year called “the off-season.”

And (Americans, take note), “rout” is what my hockey team does to your hockey team. “Route” – pronounced root – is the path to the nearest donut shop.

Speaking of donuts, they are our national pastry. The French have croissants; we have maple-glazed. For best results, pair one with a “double-double” (coffee with two creams and two sugars). To sound like a real Canuck, say you want to go to “Timmy’s” (Tim Hortons) to get it. Bring back a box of “Timbits” (donut holes), and you’re as golden as a loonie.

On behalf of all the hosers, welcome to Canada, eh.