...'this is my letter to FIDO (via the website) to them, as i'm currently still trying to get my cell to be fixed - i've been on the phone now almost 90 minutes'...
yes, i have a really big problem - ESPECIALLY with the technical support operators. you know, i've been a customer with fido for many years and i've had nothing but trouble and i'm to the point where i'm ready to walk away from you and the horrible customer/tech support i continue to face EVERYTIME i call. i can't tell you how many times i've called to have tech support on a new phone that should be working and be told by your operators that it must be something I'M doing wrong and that there is no possible way that the problems i'm facing could occur. it's ridiculous. i've been currently on the this morning for over an hour with different reps...not only have i been on the phone with them this long i've had to constantly repeat myself over and over again about the same problems... don't you guys communicate with one another? do you know how frustrating it is to keep repeating myself, over and over again, and then - told i'm the one with the problem?! 2 words comes to mind when i'm talking to you...the first one starts with an F and the second starts with a Y. you figure it out. i'm now still currently on the phone with your 'top notch' customer/service and yes, i am being sarcastic, it's over 65 minutes and counting. and still, not one person has helped me or fixed this stupid phone. great job fido. well done. *eyeroll*
DINKY'S NOT HAPPY.... DINKY WILL SMASH!
Friday, October 09, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
...genius and the lure of young flesh...
Until recently, in the western world, the right of a Great Man to man-handle a reluctant, pliant young woman was simply not questioned. With the advent of sexual harassment laws, the old order is under attack. It won't go down easily. Novels by and about angry and accused men have been written about unfortunate incidents, movies made. J.M Coetzee's Disgrace, Philip Roth's The Human Stain, even Zadie Smith's On Beauty, tend to greater or lesser degree to sympathize with the accused. These Great Men, it seems, are helpless against their urges. In fact, their genius may well depend upon their consummated desires, and young women are fuel for the fires of their brilliance. And in the end, they are really willing minxes, whether they know it yet or not.
Supporters of the brilliant director are many, and they generally come from the intellectual, artistic world. Their cries of outrage are on this website today, including a petition from that great French feminist, Bernard Henri Levy, signed by equally well-known advocates of women as Salman Rushdie, Mike Nichols, Claude Lanzmann, Diane von Furstenburg (OK, the DVF wrap dress should be considered a great advancement for women).
To these artists and other supporters of the arrested director, the incarceration of the director is the end of a witch-hunt, the persecution of a genius by low-level, un-imaginative legal drones, who wear un-cool suits and wouldn't know a semiotic deconstruction if it smacked them in the face. If Polanski did anything wrong, and some, I think, would even say he did not, he should be forgiven for a single folly, committed way back in the 'lude' and hot-tub heyday of 1970s Hollywood debauchery. The rape of a 13-year old was hardly the worst offense committed at Jack Nicholson's pad.
By this way of thinking, to arrest Polanski now is like arresting a woman for riding a bicycle in public because it was illegal in the 19th Century. But, to arrest Polanski now is also like apprehending a war criminal many years after the fact. The war criminal may be living in South America, tending his garden and making sheep's cheese, and his victims blissfully reaching the age of non compos mentis, but it means something to the world that justice be served.
Comparing a Hollywood child rape to war criminal behavior will inspire outrage, guffaws, ridicule. Bring it on. But first, let's consider this fact: women are dying at the hands of male partners around the world at a greater rate than cancer and heart disease. Sexual violence is endemic on the planet. Some studies in Europe say 50 percent of women have been abused before they become adults.
There will be supporters of the Great Man who say that men and women are different, and that women simply don't have or can't comprehend the desires of men. The philandering middle-aged husband of a friend of mine comes to mind: he excused his romance with a younger woman by explaining that it was all about "the life force." It was the recovery of that force he craved, as much as an easy lay. For women, eternal youth lies not in the bed of a younger man, but at the end of a scalpel. Twisted, right? Where is the older, creative female genius arrested for seducing the boy? There they are: perverted school-teachers. And if you know about them it's because they are in jail. Mary Kay le Tourneau comes to mind. Look inside your hearts, women, and ask yourselves, do you secretly crave a 13-year-old boy? Maybe. The cultural taboo against such behavior is so strong that you maybe couldn't admit it if you did. Would you drug one to get him into bed? Hmm.
Great Men - and other men - sometimes do find pliant, young flesh irresistible. Geniuses are usually forgiven for it. It's a good bet Woody Allen won't be signing Henri-Levy's petition, but he could offer Roman some comfort in a jailhouse visit in Zurich about now. The Woodman's story has a happy ending. So do the sagas of the millions of wrinkled, calloused, old smelly geezers in places like Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia and Africa, where marriage of men 40 and older to girls at puberty is only just beginning to be considered locally - and only by a very, very few - to be, perhaps, not so healthy.
In the end, that is precisely why the arrest of Roman Polanski is a good idea, and should stand. It doesn't matter whether he is a genius. The world will have to live without his lifetime tribute ceremony, at least for a few months more. It doesn't matter whether his victim - 30-odd years on and handsomely paid off - forgives and wants to forget.
What matters is that the rape of a 13-year old girl, in a nation of laws, in a nation where women are striving for equality with men, in world where we are hundreds of years away from that right and good goal, be discouraged, by example if necessary.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
....a film great, john hughes...RIP
In the mid-1980s, when Reagan was busy turning up the heat on the Cold War, America was being sabotaged by a Communist infiltrator who targeted our youth with saccharine commie propaganda aimed at leading the youth to revolution. I’m talking, of course, about this man: John Hughes.
Hughes is one of the filmmakers responsible for introducing the idea of high school as a microcosm of society, but while most filmmakers settle for exploring the cruelties of popularity, Hughes goes for all-out revolution. The man behind such teen angst classics like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles may have seemed to be harmlessly soothing the pain of adolescence, but he was really implementing a Three Year Plan (1983-1986) whose goal was nothing short of overthrowing the capitalist system with hot teenage class warfare.
What is the theme of every John Hughes’ teen movie? Our differences are meaningless. We are all alike in that we are equally oppressed by adults and the capitalist system. It is our job as teens to put aside our superficial differences and band together to fight the bourgeois parents and fascist school administrators who enslave us, who selfishly profit from the oil of our pimples and try to turn us against each other by telling us to know our place and take out the trash.
He started out subtly, writing National Lampoon’s Vacation, seemingly a love-letter to the biggest monument to capitalism there is: the theme park. But what happens at the end of this bourgeois pilgrimage? Wallyworld is closed; the Griswolds have been exiled from the capitalist utopia. But do they sulk back to the suburbs of Chicago?
No, the Griswold family revolts against the establishment by breaking into the park and taking what’s theirs: a respite from work that allows them to pour their hard-earned money back into the coffers of industry. It’s a failed revolution, but it marks the first step in Hughes’ Three Year Plan.
It’s when Hughes gets a chance to direct that his true colors show Red. Sixteen Candles wants to be concerned with materials like birthday presents and purloined panties, but, like Pretty in Pink, it’s all about dating outside your class. By the end of the film, the Geek snags the prom queen, and Molly Ringwald wins the love of a petite bourgeoisie. Even Long Duc Dong and the girl with the neck brace get some action.
I know that Aristotle’s conception of comedy is supposed to end with everything in balance, but I don’t think either he or Marx were talking about equal distribution of booty.
In Weird Science, sexless computer nerds (read: the working class) realize what Marx had been saying all along: the workers control the means of production and should use it to their advantage. Of course, he didn’t mean cybernetically producing your own sex slave, but why get caught up in semantics? Gary and Wyatt use their superior technological skills to satisfy their desires, desires which society places outside their class. In doing so, they get the popular kids (read: the captains of industry) begging for their assistance.
What they learn in the film is not that wrenching control of society from the elite is bad; rather, through power, they find self-confidence. They may not be ruling the school at the end of the film, but they are certainly no longer shackled members of the proletariat. If their revolution seems failed or incomplete, that is only because Hughes’ Three Year Plan won’t reach maturity until 1986.
The Breakfast Club could be seen as Hughes’ October, or at least his Reds. In this film, the message is that, after one day in detention (read: the secondary school gulag), five oppressed teens realize that they are trapped in a bogus class system. The culture of high school has brainwashed them into thinking they are separated by a rigid class structure, when, in reality, they are all members of the same class: the proletariat. Despite what capitalist society has been telling them, they discover that they are all “a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.” What do they do with this realization? They convene a party congress (read: getting high and dancing to “We Are Not Alone”) before writing a manifesto that they hand to the principal like it was the 95 Theses. Is it an accident that the last image of the film features John Bender—a Trotskyite if there ever was one—raising a revolutionary fist in the air? Absolutely not. This is a message to the oppressed teens in the audience, an image that calls for permanent revolution not in the world of the film, but in the real world. What else could “Don’t You Forget About Me” possibly mean?
But who will emerge from among the proletariat to lead them in a revolutionary uprising? Only one character in the Hughes oeuvre can shoulder such a burden: Ferris Bueller. In the last teen-angst film he directed, Hughes leaves his audience with a model leader, a Marxist Messiah. What teen in 1986 did not walk out of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off thinking that Ferris Bueller was the coolest film hero of all time? Why did we think he was so cool? Because he engages in open revolt against the system. But just what exactly is Ferris taking a day off from? Ferris Bueller is taking a day off from adolescent serfdom, and he wants all of us to join him. If John Hughes is Marx, then Ferris Bueller is his Lenin, perhaps even his Mao.
Bueller is the perfect leader because he transcends the illusory teenage social classes by appealing to every social strata: “the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads—they all adore him; they think he’s a righteous dude.” He works well with one-on-one encounters, but he also is capable of leading mass demonstrations. Bueller embodies the cult of personality, and his followers, assuming that their Dear Leader is threatened, mount an underground campaign to save him, thus spreading Buellerism all over Shermer, Illinois. By the end of the film, these Buelleristas are an unstoppable force, and we get the strong impression that Ed Rooney and his ilk will soon be liquidated.
But Hughes’ revolution never took place, and Hughes himself all but went underground by 1991. But perhaps Hughes’ revolution took place in a different, more subtle way. Due to the success of Hughes’ films and other films of the time, the culture industry directed all its attention toward pleasing the proletariat. Therefore, rather than overthrowing the capitalist system, Hughes brought the system to its knees and forced it to address the needs of the proletariat. As a result, the adults placed cultural power in the hands of kids, and the culture industry has never been the same since; every piece of cultural material for mass consumption has as its target the fourteen-year-old male. Look at it one way, and it’s a successful revolution, a paradigm shift; look at it another way, and the struggle became a commodity within the very system it was attempting to overthrow. Either way, the revolutionary message of the film endures, even if its real-world advances do not.
In the end one can only say that he certainly made a large contribution to both art and society. His films will speak for themselves through time. He worked awfully hard and deserves remembrance.
Hughes is one of the filmmakers responsible for introducing the idea of high school as a microcosm of society, but while most filmmakers settle for exploring the cruelties of popularity, Hughes goes for all-out revolution. The man behind such teen angst classics like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles may have seemed to be harmlessly soothing the pain of adolescence, but he was really implementing a Three Year Plan (1983-1986) whose goal was nothing short of overthrowing the capitalist system with hot teenage class warfare.
What is the theme of every John Hughes’ teen movie? Our differences are meaningless. We are all alike in that we are equally oppressed by adults and the capitalist system. It is our job as teens to put aside our superficial differences and band together to fight the bourgeois parents and fascist school administrators who enslave us, who selfishly profit from the oil of our pimples and try to turn us against each other by telling us to know our place and take out the trash.
He started out subtly, writing National Lampoon’s Vacation, seemingly a love-letter to the biggest monument to capitalism there is: the theme park. But what happens at the end of this bourgeois pilgrimage? Wallyworld is closed; the Griswolds have been exiled from the capitalist utopia. But do they sulk back to the suburbs of Chicago?
No, the Griswold family revolts against the establishment by breaking into the park and taking what’s theirs: a respite from work that allows them to pour their hard-earned money back into the coffers of industry. It’s a failed revolution, but it marks the first step in Hughes’ Three Year Plan.
It’s when Hughes gets a chance to direct that his true colors show Red. Sixteen Candles wants to be concerned with materials like birthday presents and purloined panties, but, like Pretty in Pink, it’s all about dating outside your class. By the end of the film, the Geek snags the prom queen, and Molly Ringwald wins the love of a petite bourgeoisie. Even Long Duc Dong and the girl with the neck brace get some action.
I know that Aristotle’s conception of comedy is supposed to end with everything in balance, but I don’t think either he or Marx were talking about equal distribution of booty.
In Weird Science, sexless computer nerds (read: the working class) realize what Marx had been saying all along: the workers control the means of production and should use it to their advantage. Of course, he didn’t mean cybernetically producing your own sex slave, but why get caught up in semantics? Gary and Wyatt use their superior technological skills to satisfy their desires, desires which society places outside their class. In doing so, they get the popular kids (read: the captains of industry) begging for their assistance.
What they learn in the film is not that wrenching control of society from the elite is bad; rather, through power, they find self-confidence. They may not be ruling the school at the end of the film, but they are certainly no longer shackled members of the proletariat. If their revolution seems failed or incomplete, that is only because Hughes’ Three Year Plan won’t reach maturity until 1986.
The Breakfast Club could be seen as Hughes’ October, or at least his Reds. In this film, the message is that, after one day in detention (read: the secondary school gulag), five oppressed teens realize that they are trapped in a bogus class system. The culture of high school has brainwashed them into thinking they are separated by a rigid class structure, when, in reality, they are all members of the same class: the proletariat. Despite what capitalist society has been telling them, they discover that they are all “a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.” What do they do with this realization? They convene a party congress (read: getting high and dancing to “We Are Not Alone”) before writing a manifesto that they hand to the principal like it was the 95 Theses. Is it an accident that the last image of the film features John Bender—a Trotskyite if there ever was one—raising a revolutionary fist in the air? Absolutely not. This is a message to the oppressed teens in the audience, an image that calls for permanent revolution not in the world of the film, but in the real world. What else could “Don’t You Forget About Me” possibly mean?
But who will emerge from among the proletariat to lead them in a revolutionary uprising? Only one character in the Hughes oeuvre can shoulder such a burden: Ferris Bueller. In the last teen-angst film he directed, Hughes leaves his audience with a model leader, a Marxist Messiah. What teen in 1986 did not walk out of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off thinking that Ferris Bueller was the coolest film hero of all time? Why did we think he was so cool? Because he engages in open revolt against the system. But just what exactly is Ferris taking a day off from? Ferris Bueller is taking a day off from adolescent serfdom, and he wants all of us to join him. If John Hughes is Marx, then Ferris Bueller is his Lenin, perhaps even his Mao.
Bueller is the perfect leader because he transcends the illusory teenage social classes by appealing to every social strata: “the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads—they all adore him; they think he’s a righteous dude.” He works well with one-on-one encounters, but he also is capable of leading mass demonstrations. Bueller embodies the cult of personality, and his followers, assuming that their Dear Leader is threatened, mount an underground campaign to save him, thus spreading Buellerism all over Shermer, Illinois. By the end of the film, these Buelleristas are an unstoppable force, and we get the strong impression that Ed Rooney and his ilk will soon be liquidated.
But Hughes’ revolution never took place, and Hughes himself all but went underground by 1991. But perhaps Hughes’ revolution took place in a different, more subtle way. Due to the success of Hughes’ films and other films of the time, the culture industry directed all its attention toward pleasing the proletariat. Therefore, rather than overthrowing the capitalist system, Hughes brought the system to its knees and forced it to address the needs of the proletariat. As a result, the adults placed cultural power in the hands of kids, and the culture industry has never been the same since; every piece of cultural material for mass consumption has as its target the fourteen-year-old male. Look at it one way, and it’s a successful revolution, a paradigm shift; look at it another way, and the struggle became a commodity within the very system it was attempting to overthrow. Either way, the revolutionary message of the film endures, even if its real-world advances do not.
In the end one can only say that he certainly made a large contribution to both art and society. His films will speak for themselves through time. He worked awfully hard and deserves remembrance.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
jon stewart - I LOVE YOU....
Oh Jon, thanks for makin' my hump day tolerable....'let's make it rain bitches!' :p
http://watch.thecomedynetwork.ca/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart/full-episodes/july-27-2009/#clip197717
http://watch.thecomedynetwork.ca/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart/full-episodes/july-27-2009/#clip197717
Thursday, July 23, 2009
...the 'doctor' is in.....
I love this guy's health advices and outlook on life........
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). Need grain? Eat chicken. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain.......Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO.... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). Need grain? Eat chicken. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain.......Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO.... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
GO WINGS *sniff* GO
....my flag is at half mast today - a single tear runs down my cheek...
WE LOST....ugh.
The puck came to Nicklas Lidstrom with two seconds left. No pressure. Make the shot, we go to overtime. He didn't make it.
The Pittsburgh Penguins, on the strength of two goals from Maxine Talbot, stunned the Detroit Red Wings 2-1 to win the Stanley Cup at Joe Louis Arena.
Star-divide
Make no mistake: the Penguins deserved to win this game. Their effort was incredible, making brilliant plays, and with Evgeni Malkin's Conn Smythe performance, there is no doubt that the right team skated away with the Cup.
Talbot spent the first period constantly skating past Red Wings defensemen, which set an ominous tone. In the second, he capitalized: after a sloppy play behind the net by Stewart, Talbot swiped the puck away to Malkin, who put the puck back to Talbot.
Osgood didn't stand a chance.
Talbot did it again nine minutes later: after Stuart tried to make something out of nothing in a pinch in the Wings end, it set up a two-on-one. Talbot skated in and beat Osgood wide, putting the puck up in the top right corner. The crowd was deflated.
Jonathan Ericsson's goal in the third gave the Red Wings a chance, but despite the wild finish, the Wings couldn't convert.
So now we reach the end. Banners will be raised next fall, but not the one banner that mattered.
But there are much larger issues coming out of this:
* The non-effort in the first two periods of Games 6 and 7.
* The lack of goals from Lidstrom, Tomas Holmstrom, and Pavel Datsuyk: three leaders of this team.
* The shocking turnovers from a lot of players, including Chris Osgood.
* The boneheaded plays from Brad Stuart that set up both Pens goals.
* And, most of all: Marian Hossa's disappearing act.
No one escapes blame here. It is a bitter ending to a glorious season. One that should leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth.
Don't worry tho guys - I STILL LOVE YOU.
GO WINGS *sniff* GO.
WE LOST....ugh.
The puck came to Nicklas Lidstrom with two seconds left. No pressure. Make the shot, we go to overtime. He didn't make it.
The Pittsburgh Penguins, on the strength of two goals from Maxine Talbot, stunned the Detroit Red Wings 2-1 to win the Stanley Cup at Joe Louis Arena.
Star-divide
Make no mistake: the Penguins deserved to win this game. Their effort was incredible, making brilliant plays, and with Evgeni Malkin's Conn Smythe performance, there is no doubt that the right team skated away with the Cup.
Talbot spent the first period constantly skating past Red Wings defensemen, which set an ominous tone. In the second, he capitalized: after a sloppy play behind the net by Stewart, Talbot swiped the puck away to Malkin, who put the puck back to Talbot.
Osgood didn't stand a chance.
Talbot did it again nine minutes later: after Stuart tried to make something out of nothing in a pinch in the Wings end, it set up a two-on-one. Talbot skated in and beat Osgood wide, putting the puck up in the top right corner. The crowd was deflated.
Jonathan Ericsson's goal in the third gave the Red Wings a chance, but despite the wild finish, the Wings couldn't convert.
So now we reach the end. Banners will be raised next fall, but not the one banner that mattered.
But there are much larger issues coming out of this:
* The non-effort in the first two periods of Games 6 and 7.
* The lack of goals from Lidstrom, Tomas Holmstrom, and Pavel Datsuyk: three leaders of this team.
* The shocking turnovers from a lot of players, including Chris Osgood.
* The boneheaded plays from Brad Stuart that set up both Pens goals.
* And, most of all: Marian Hossa's disappearing act.
No one escapes blame here. It is a bitter ending to a glorious season. One that should leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth.
Don't worry tho guys - I STILL LOVE YOU.
GO WINGS *sniff* GO.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Red Wings Move Within A Win Of NHL Title!
Even on a wobbly foot, Pavel Datsyuk made the Detroit Red Wings their old dominant selves again.
Datsyuk set up two goals, threw a big early hit on Evgeni Malkin and ended the night plus-2 as the Red Wings used three power play goals to rout the Pittsburgh Penguins 5-0 on Saturday night.
"This guy's one of the best players in the world, offensive and defensively," said Detroit coach Mike Babcock of Datsyuk. " We've been able to have some success, but it's much harder without him.
"I've been impressed that our guys found a way. We bought time so he could come back."
The Red Wings lead the best-of-seven series 3-2 and can clinch their 12th Stanley Cup and repeat as NHL champions with a win in Game 6 on Tuesday night in Pittsburgh.
Detroit beat the Penguins in six games in last year's final.
As the teams took to the ice, the crowd of 20,066 chanted Datsyuk's name, and he responded by giving new legs his previously tired-looking team.
Datsyuk, a Hart Trophy candidate as the league's most valuable player, missed the last seven games with a suspected broken foot and was clearly not at top speed, but despite taking a slash on his tender foot from Max Talbot late in the second frame, put in a respectable 17:38 of ice time.
"I felt good," said Datsyuk. "When I play more, I feel better."
Datsyuk wouldn't say exactly how much better he felt, however.
"I don't have a percentage. How much I have, I try to play with this."
Dan Cleary scored in the first period, Valtteri Filppula got one early in the second. Then came power-play goals from Niklas Kronwall, Brian Rafalski and Henrik Zetterberg to chase Pittsburgh starter Marc-Andre Fleury after only 21 shots at the 15:40 mark of the second period. Mathieu Garon played the remainder of the game in goal for the Penguins.
"We realized the situation, how important this game was, and we played like it," said Cleary. "We played desperate and hard, we buried our chances, we didn't give them any life."
Chris Osgood made 22 saves - few of them on dangerous chances - for his second shutout of the playoffs.
After a pair of losses in Pittsburgh to even the series at 2-2, the Red Wings controlled Game 5.
And now they have two full days off to get over the fatigue that even Babcock admits was evident as the opening four games of the series were played over a six-game span.
A early sign that things were turning in Detroit's favour came as they held Pittsburgh's hitherto swarming power play without a shot or anything close to a scoring chance after Kronwall was sent off for tripping.
And as soon as they got the man advantage, a power play unit with only one goal in the first four games sprang to life.
"When you don't play well at all, you have nothing to do but improve, and we have to," said Pens star Sidney Crosby, who was made a non-factor in the game by the checking of Zetterberg. "The situation's pretty clear for us."
The rest of the game was dream night for the Detroit faithful, as a party atmosphere reigned in the seats and derisive chants were hurled at Fleury and frustrated Penguins stars Crosby and Malkin.
Datsyuk set up two goals, threw a big early hit on Evgeni Malkin and ended the night plus-2 as the Red Wings used three power play goals to rout the Pittsburgh Penguins 5-0 on Saturday night.
"This guy's one of the best players in the world, offensive and defensively," said Detroit coach Mike Babcock of Datsyuk. " We've been able to have some success, but it's much harder without him.
"I've been impressed that our guys found a way. We bought time so he could come back."
The Red Wings lead the best-of-seven series 3-2 and can clinch their 12th Stanley Cup and repeat as NHL champions with a win in Game 6 on Tuesday night in Pittsburgh.
Detroit beat the Penguins in six games in last year's final.
As the teams took to the ice, the crowd of 20,066 chanted Datsyuk's name, and he responded by giving new legs his previously tired-looking team.
Datsyuk, a Hart Trophy candidate as the league's most valuable player, missed the last seven games with a suspected broken foot and was clearly not at top speed, but despite taking a slash on his tender foot from Max Talbot late in the second frame, put in a respectable 17:38 of ice time.
"I felt good," said Datsyuk. "When I play more, I feel better."
Datsyuk wouldn't say exactly how much better he felt, however.
"I don't have a percentage. How much I have, I try to play with this."
Dan Cleary scored in the first period, Valtteri Filppula got one early in the second. Then came power-play goals from Niklas Kronwall, Brian Rafalski and Henrik Zetterberg to chase Pittsburgh starter Marc-Andre Fleury after only 21 shots at the 15:40 mark of the second period. Mathieu Garon played the remainder of the game in goal for the Penguins.
"We realized the situation, how important this game was, and we played like it," said Cleary. "We played desperate and hard, we buried our chances, we didn't give them any life."
Chris Osgood made 22 saves - few of them on dangerous chances - for his second shutout of the playoffs.
After a pair of losses in Pittsburgh to even the series at 2-2, the Red Wings controlled Game 5.
And now they have two full days off to get over the fatigue that even Babcock admits was evident as the opening four games of the series were played over a six-game span.
A early sign that things were turning in Detroit's favour came as they held Pittsburgh's hitherto swarming power play without a shot or anything close to a scoring chance after Kronwall was sent off for tripping.
And as soon as they got the man advantage, a power play unit with only one goal in the first four games sprang to life.
"When you don't play well at all, you have nothing to do but improve, and we have to," said Pens star Sidney Crosby, who was made a non-factor in the game by the checking of Zetterberg. "The situation's pretty clear for us."
The rest of the game was dream night for the Detroit faithful, as a party atmosphere reigned in the seats and derisive chants were hurled at Fleury and frustrated Penguins stars Crosby and Malkin.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Red Wings on brink of Stanley Cup finals after whipping Blackhawks 6-1 in Game 4
The Detroit Red Wings' depth of talent and resiliency were never more on display than today in Game 4 of the Western Conference finals against a desperate opponent in a hostile environment.
Missing their league MVP candidate forward, Pavel Datsyuk, was damaging enough. But the Red Wings also played without their perennial Norris Trophy-winning defense man, Nicklas Lidstrom.
It didn't faze them one bit, however, as they played with the poise and polish of a Stanley Cup champion.
Marian Hossa had two goals and one assist and Valtteri Filppula, filling in for Datsyuk on that line, picked up a goal and two assists as the Red Wings pounded the Chicago Blackhawks 6-1 at the United Center to move to within one game of returning to the Cup finals.
The Red Wings lead the series 3-1 and can wrap it up Wednesday in Game 5 at Joe Louis Arena.
Detroit did not miss either of its injured stars. Datsyuk sat out the second straight game with a bruised foot sustained in Game 2. Lidstrom was scratched before the game due to a lower-body injury. suffered in Game 3.
It was the first playoff game Lidstrom, a six-timer Norris winner as the NHL's top defenseman, has missed in his 17-year career. He had appeared in 228 straight, dating back to 1992. He is listed as day-to-day.
The Red Wings scored three power-play goals and once while shorthanded. They led 3-0 less than two minutes into the second period and were up 5-1 after two periods.
Henrik Zetterberg also scored two goals and Johan Franzen tallied his team-leading 10th goal of the playoffs. Brian Rafalski had three assists and Niklas Kronwall contributed a pair of assists.
Goaltender Chris Osgood stopped 18-of-19 shots through 40 minutes and was replaced by Ty Conklin at the start of the third period. Osgood, who hurt his knee in Game 4 against Columbus during the first round, was taken out for precautionary reasons, the club said. No. 3 goalie Jimmy Howard quickly dressed to serve as the backup.
Cristobal Huet made his first start of the playoffs for Chicago, replacing the injured Nikolai Khabibulin. Huet allowed four goals on 17 shots and was replaced by Corey Crawford at 4:05 of the second period with his team trailing 4-1. Huet returned at the start of the third period.
Blackhawks leading scorer Martin Havlat, knocked out of Game 3 in the first period after a hit by Kronwall, returned to the lineup but took a hard hit from Brad Stuart early in the second period and left the game.
Chicago might have started to gain some momentum when Jonathan Toews scored a power-play goal at 3:53 of the second period to cut Detroit's lead to 3-1.
But Hossa answered 12 seconds later by streaking down the right wing and firing a harmless-looking wrist shot past Huet.
The Blackhawks lost their composure and began taking bad penalties. Zetterberg made them pay at 7:42 of the second period by scoring on a two-man advantage to make it 5-1.
Chicago had a good chance to strike first against Detroit's struggling penalty-killing units, but Hossa scored shorthanded at 8:41 of the first period, converting a pass from Filppula during a two-on-one.
Franzen made it 2-0 with 20.7 seconds to play in the first period, rushing into the zone and firing a shot between the legs of defenseman Brian Campbell that caught the far top corner of the net.
Filppula made it 3-0 at 1:13 of the second period, on the power play, banging in the rebound of a shot by Hossa.
Zetterberg closed out the scoring with a power-play goal at 12:47 of the third.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Good luck figuring out these Stanley Cup playoffs...
The NHL conference semifinals proved one thing yet again. Just when you think you have everything figured out, you do not know squat.
The team that looked like they were poised for their first Stanley Cup Final appearance since 1994, Vancouver, was ousted in six games by the young but feisty Chicago Blackhawks.
When it looked like young Washington goaltender Simeon Varlamov was going to lead the Capitals deep into the playoffs, the Penguins chased him early in the second period of their 6-2 Game 7 victory.
When the Red Wings and Hurricanes seemed sure to close out their series in six and five games respectively, the Ducks and Bruins fought back to force seventh games.
In total, 27 games were played in the second round and the vast majority of them were nail-biters.
Before looking ahead to the conference finals, let us take a look at the top performers in the playoffs so far.
° Best team (so far) — Detroit. Vancouver may be out of the running, but the balance of power remains in the Western Conference. As expected, the Ducks took them to the brink, but the Ducks were much better than their No. 8 seed suggested.
Just because they are very good does not mean that they are perfect. Pavel Datsyuk has just one goal and four assists. But this team has more than enough going for it to bring the cup back to Hockeytown for the 12th time.
° Conn Smythe Trophy winner (so far) — Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh. How can one argue with 12 goals and nine assists? He had a memorable hat trick in a memorable Game 2 against the Capitals and scored the first goal in the Penguins’ Game 7 blowout in that same series.
But what makes Crosby even more valuable is his ability to work with linemate Evgeni Malkin. The Russian has six goals and 13 assists of his own and together they make the Penguins a dangerous team.
° Best series (so far) — Anaheim vs. Detroit. True, the Penguins-Capitals series was great as a showcase of the league’s two biggest stars. But this was a showcase of two great teams.
Watching it was like watching a heavyweight fight. Anaheim’s physicality was matched by Detroit’s precision and skill. When it looked like the Ducks were pressed to their limit, their best player Ryan Getzlaf led them back to a seventh game.
In the end, the winner of the series was the old sports axiom — who wanted it more. Dan Cleary wanted to score just a little more than Jonas Hiller wanted to keep the puck out of his net.
Speaking of the Red Wings, let us begin by looking at the battle between two of the original six.
° No. 4 Chicago vs. No. 2 Detroit. If you read this newspaper in January, you know I have a little personal experience with this matchup. Unfortunately, none of the games are slated for the friendly confines at Wrigley Field.
Fortunately, it will be a showcase of two legendary clubs stacked with talent. Detroit will be led by Johan Franzen, who seems to always be at the right place at the right time. All he has done is score eight goals and add seven assists.
Franzen is far from Detroit’s only weapon. Center Henrik Zetterberg has six goals and eight assists, defenseman Nicklas Lidstrom has three goals and eight assists and Cleary has nine points, a plus-minus of 10 and the series-winning goal against the Ducks.
Chicago has plenty to offer as well, specifically four players with 10 or more playoff points. Martin Havlat leads them in points (13) and assists (8) and Patrick Kane leads them with eight goals to go with his four assists.
Kris Versteeg and Jonathan Toews have added 10 points with four others (Brian Campbell, Patrick Sharp, Brent Seabrook and Dave Bolland) trailing behind with nine.
The Red Wings’ Chris Osgood has had to stand on his head at times, but has a goals-against average of 2.06 and save percentage of .921, making him the No. 2 netminder in the postseason. The Blackhawks’ Nikolai Khabibulin has not been shabby, giving up 2.76 goals per game and posting a save percentage of .896.
Both teams are strong on the power play. Chicago ranks first in the postseason, converting 29.4 percent of their chances. Detroit is second, turning 26.4 percent of their opportunities into goals.
The Blackhawks are a young, talented team certain to make waves in the future. But the Red Wings won four of the teams’ six matchups during the regular season because of their experience. That sounds about right for the postseason as well. Red Wings in six.
Now let us go back east for a series between two teams that did not figure to be where they are in January.
° No. 6 Carolina vs. No. 4 Pittsburgh. This matchup may not be as anticipated as the Penguins-Capitals series was, but it has the potential to be just as good.
The aforementioned Crosby and Malkin lead a Penguins team that has found itself after Dan Bylsma took over as head coach.
Defenseman Sergei Gonchar has eight assists to go with a pair of goals, right wing Bill Guerin has five goals and four assists and defenseman Kris Letang has three goals and six assists.
Eric Staal has found the net nine times for the Hurricanes in the postseason and has four assists to go with them. Once waived by Tampa Bay, Jussi Jokinen has found a new lease on life in Raleigh, notching six goals and four assists on the postseason. Ray Whitney and Chad LaRose have added nine points each.
Both goaltenders have Stanley Cup Final experience, Marc-Andre Fleury, who got to the final last year, has a goals-against average of 2.72 and a save percentage of .901. Cam Ward, who won the Cup in 2006, is in line for a Conn Smythe repeat with a 2.22 goals-against average of and a .927 save percentage.
The Penguins have the stronger power play, converting 19.4 percent of their chances to just 10.4 percent by the Hurricanes. But Carolina has the stronger penalty kill, keeping opponents out of the net 90.7 percent of the time to 81.6 percent by the Penguins.
The Hurricanes have overachieved to get this far and Ward has been spectacular. But unless they can find an answer for Crosby and Malkin, they will be watching the Stanley Cup Final on television. Penguins in six.
...BUT IN THE END - THE WINGS WILL TAKE ER' AGAIN...!
GO WINGS GO!!
The team that looked like they were poised for their first Stanley Cup Final appearance since 1994, Vancouver, was ousted in six games by the young but feisty Chicago Blackhawks.
When it looked like young Washington goaltender Simeon Varlamov was going to lead the Capitals deep into the playoffs, the Penguins chased him early in the second period of their 6-2 Game 7 victory.
When the Red Wings and Hurricanes seemed sure to close out their series in six and five games respectively, the Ducks and Bruins fought back to force seventh games.
In total, 27 games were played in the second round and the vast majority of them were nail-biters.
Before looking ahead to the conference finals, let us take a look at the top performers in the playoffs so far.
° Best team (so far) — Detroit. Vancouver may be out of the running, but the balance of power remains in the Western Conference. As expected, the Ducks took them to the brink, but the Ducks were much better than their No. 8 seed suggested.
Just because they are very good does not mean that they are perfect. Pavel Datsyuk has just one goal and four assists. But this team has more than enough going for it to bring the cup back to Hockeytown for the 12th time.
° Conn Smythe Trophy winner (so far) — Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh. How can one argue with 12 goals and nine assists? He had a memorable hat trick in a memorable Game 2 against the Capitals and scored the first goal in the Penguins’ Game 7 blowout in that same series.
But what makes Crosby even more valuable is his ability to work with linemate Evgeni Malkin. The Russian has six goals and 13 assists of his own and together they make the Penguins a dangerous team.
° Best series (so far) — Anaheim vs. Detroit. True, the Penguins-Capitals series was great as a showcase of the league’s two biggest stars. But this was a showcase of two great teams.
Watching it was like watching a heavyweight fight. Anaheim’s physicality was matched by Detroit’s precision and skill. When it looked like the Ducks were pressed to their limit, their best player Ryan Getzlaf led them back to a seventh game.
In the end, the winner of the series was the old sports axiom — who wanted it more. Dan Cleary wanted to score just a little more than Jonas Hiller wanted to keep the puck out of his net.
Speaking of the Red Wings, let us begin by looking at the battle between two of the original six.
° No. 4 Chicago vs. No. 2 Detroit. If you read this newspaper in January, you know I have a little personal experience with this matchup. Unfortunately, none of the games are slated for the friendly confines at Wrigley Field.
Fortunately, it will be a showcase of two legendary clubs stacked with talent. Detroit will be led by Johan Franzen, who seems to always be at the right place at the right time. All he has done is score eight goals and add seven assists.
Franzen is far from Detroit’s only weapon. Center Henrik Zetterberg has six goals and eight assists, defenseman Nicklas Lidstrom has three goals and eight assists and Cleary has nine points, a plus-minus of 10 and the series-winning goal against the Ducks.
Chicago has plenty to offer as well, specifically four players with 10 or more playoff points. Martin Havlat leads them in points (13) and assists (8) and Patrick Kane leads them with eight goals to go with his four assists.
Kris Versteeg and Jonathan Toews have added 10 points with four others (Brian Campbell, Patrick Sharp, Brent Seabrook and Dave Bolland) trailing behind with nine.
The Red Wings’ Chris Osgood has had to stand on his head at times, but has a goals-against average of 2.06 and save percentage of .921, making him the No. 2 netminder in the postseason. The Blackhawks’ Nikolai Khabibulin has not been shabby, giving up 2.76 goals per game and posting a save percentage of .896.
Both teams are strong on the power play. Chicago ranks first in the postseason, converting 29.4 percent of their chances. Detroit is second, turning 26.4 percent of their opportunities into goals.
The Blackhawks are a young, talented team certain to make waves in the future. But the Red Wings won four of the teams’ six matchups during the regular season because of their experience. That sounds about right for the postseason as well. Red Wings in six.
Now let us go back east for a series between two teams that did not figure to be where they are in January.
° No. 6 Carolina vs. No. 4 Pittsburgh. This matchup may not be as anticipated as the Penguins-Capitals series was, but it has the potential to be just as good.
The aforementioned Crosby and Malkin lead a Penguins team that has found itself after Dan Bylsma took over as head coach.
Defenseman Sergei Gonchar has eight assists to go with a pair of goals, right wing Bill Guerin has five goals and four assists and defenseman Kris Letang has three goals and six assists.
Eric Staal has found the net nine times for the Hurricanes in the postseason and has four assists to go with them. Once waived by Tampa Bay, Jussi Jokinen has found a new lease on life in Raleigh, notching six goals and four assists on the postseason. Ray Whitney and Chad LaRose have added nine points each.
Both goaltenders have Stanley Cup Final experience, Marc-Andre Fleury, who got to the final last year, has a goals-against average of 2.72 and a save percentage of .901. Cam Ward, who won the Cup in 2006, is in line for a Conn Smythe repeat with a 2.22 goals-against average of and a .927 save percentage.
The Penguins have the stronger power play, converting 19.4 percent of their chances to just 10.4 percent by the Hurricanes. But Carolina has the stronger penalty kill, keeping opponents out of the net 90.7 percent of the time to 81.6 percent by the Penguins.
The Hurricanes have overachieved to get this far and Ward has been spectacular. But unless they can find an answer for Crosby and Malkin, they will be watching the Stanley Cup Final on television. Penguins in six.
...BUT IN THE END - THE WINGS WILL TAKE ER' AGAIN...!
GO WINGS GO!!
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